Another hectic day before the Puja starts. I got back home at around 10 pm today and my mom seemed to be completely freaked out. However, I understood the frightful situation in her mind and steadily moved into my bedroom. The phone battery was low so I had to put it on charge, completely ignoring all the unseen messages. I was just about to leave the room when she messaged me in whatsapp. She inquired whether I was going to call her at night.
I knew the answer even before the question came up. It's always a pleasant experience to talk to her and what can be better when she herself asks me whether I can call her up or not. This blog might seem extremely cheeky/cheesy/melodramatic for the person who is reading this. So it's completely your wish whether you want to continue or leave it right here.
Shssssss!!
"Hey There Delilah.... What's it like...", I kept humming.
Shssssss
What happened? Why are you "sushuing" me?
I heard something!
What did you hear?
Something like stones were rolled on my floor.
Hush! Nothing has happened. Stay calm. Relax....
No. I heard. Krish I am scared.
Do you need a hug?
Maybe..
Can I give you a hug?
No.
..........
............
............
Oh don't worry! Nothing has appended. Relax Edam... Trust me it's nothing.
But I did hear a noise and it's scary...
No don't worry. There is no ghost in your room.
Oh Stop mentioning about that!!
Those scary expressions of her!! Only if it was possible for me to literally make her understand that there was no ghost in the room. I did try to understand but she apparently failed to believe me.
She started recollecting all her childhood stories and some really scary yet funny incidents in her life. It was fun to know certain childhood stories of the person you.... Anyway..!!
She brought up a story about her maid and her mom and that was so funny but the way she described it, I kind of had goosebumps.
Ketchup.
Ketchup?
Yes?
Ketchup?
Yes...
I love you...
I am already scared.. Don't freak me out..
____________
...........
__________
..........................
What if I don't see a tomorrow?
The moment she said this, I somehow felt so miserable. What if? The entire Delhi trip along with all the fun time that I imagined seemed to move away from me. I was trying to hold them back. All the imaginations, all the fantasies, I somehow started losing them.. Why would she say anything like that?
Delhi, it was only because of her. She doesn't know it! Does She?
What? What do you mean?
Nah, suppose one day I don't see a tomorrow. Will you tell my parents that I love them?
Stop that. Everything is fine.
What if I don't see tomorrow? Will you tell my parents I love them? Will you tell Joy that I loved him very much? You will have to come to Chandigarh and tell it to him...
That was enough for me to take-in in one single night. She wasn't helping me at all after I slipped with the "I love you" phrase. She completely overlooked it. But that's all right, it's not an issue. She started talking about "not being able to see tomorrow". Why would she say something like that? Ain't she supposed to be that jolly good girl I always think about. Somehow, in the most dramatic way, that topic completely freaked me out. Only if I was able to express it properly, she would have probably stopped talking about it. She brought up Joy's name and asked ME to inform him that she loved him a lot. Me? :)
Maybe I was right when I decided to hide up everything cause this is exactly what I feared? She explained me the other night and asked me to be more open to her and not pretend. I didn't pretend today. It did take a lot of guts to say those three melodramatic words to her. Lol. It's alright. I know she was very scared to even pay attention. These little stupid expectations destroys all the happiness within you for a while and the situation piles in such a manner that you ultimately react in a particular way which you regret until she understands your position. I was wrong to disconnect the phone on her face. But it was hurting. I had to make a quick shift adjustment to those imaginations where she is never the reason for my sorrow.
Like always, she only has the permission to be my happiness.
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