GREAT EXPECTATIONS!!

टूटी चारपाई वोही.. 

ठंडी पुरवाई रास्ता देखे..

ढूंढो की मलाई वोही...

मिट्टी की सुराही रास्ता देखे....

तुझको पुकारे तेरी परछाइयाँ....!!

Somehow this song always gifts me the strength when I need it. It takes me away from this real world and lands me into my fantasies where I am stronger than anybody. It gives me the strength to leave when I desperately want to stay. I can't control anybody. Certain expectations seem so GREAT that I myself get convinced that the other person will feel it as a burden to satisfy me.

When you feel connected to somebody, isn't it natural to expect things from the other person? She loiters in your thoughts the entire day like a carefree person who is the only source of happiness to you. But it's all right!! Things have happened in your past. Things that have made you stone cold but not heartless. You somehow get the courage to restrict yourself in moving forward. 

But is it truly a restriction? Or just an afraid soul scared to move ahead and feel the blissful moments of being in love? You are not sure of it. You claim you are strong and maybe you are actually very strong. But you don't wish to be strong. You want to allow the person to hurt you with an expectation that she will come back and kiss the corner of your lips and make you smile again.

But that won't happen and you know it well. You are prepared to deal with any situation like that. You don't allow her to hurt you. You make sure you don't continue expressing your stupid feelings to her every now and then which might make her uncomfortable. You prefer hiding most of the things because she told you not to count on her. Oh! You are perfectly fine with it. You know you love her but she doesn't. But it's all right with you. You don't even know how you are supposed to react or behave if someday mistakenly she falls for you too. But that's never going to happen and hence you don't need to worry about that.

You met her somewhere you didn't expect her to respond. She has always been so nice to you. Even if she pretends to be an ugly person to you, you will know it. Be it an un-kept hair or a messed up mind, you somehow always successfully find her the most gorgeous person alive. 

A deadline to fall out of love? Lol. In the past two months you somehow got an offer to have sex with one and get into a relationship with another pretty bong girl. Nothing distracted you. This will just continue. The best part? It's not dependant upon her rescipocrative feelings. You have assumed her to be your happiness. 

You know where your ultimate happiness lies.... Someday...

"The first time you get to say "I love you too" to the person you have been in love with for a long time"