GREAT EXPECTATIONS!!

Oh what a bloody hectic day!! 

The festive season is knocking around the corner and there I was, doing all the necessary shopping for the society's Durga Puja. I had to stand there for 4 freaking hours until the shopkeeper completed packing everything. Two heavy bags which weighed more than 30 kilos was carried by just Sontu da and me. 

The day was supposed to be special. It's the beginning of "Devi Pakshya". It's Mahalaya. 

I downloaded a 81mb mp3 file of Birendra Krishna Bhadra's "Mahishasura Mardini"  the previous night and wanted to play it loud from my PC so that the entire neighborhood wakes up to the beautiful chants and the story of Durga. 

I set my alarm at 4:15 am but kept hitting the snooze button after every 10 minutes. I woke up eventually at 9:00 am and again went back to sleep. So the early morning fun just vanished off due to my stupid sleeping habit.

A half sleepy message "Come to me. Come here". A dream that was so pretty. A dream about her lying down, with me embracing her from behind and my lips touching her neck. Oh no no! I don't even have the guts to ask her to hold my hand over the phone.

Sounds cheesy. Ain't it? Ha-ha. I know. But it's alright. I don't mind anymore! Do I? Even if I do, I am no way going to admit that.

For the last 2 weeks I had packed up any kind of "affectionate" feeling inside an unknown suitcase and hidden it in a place I am myself not aware of. But last night, I said something I wasn't supposed to say. A feeling I decided to control so that it doesn't make me unhappy. But why did I say that? Damn. Stupid control.

I never really got a reply to that silly early morning, the half sleepy message. But then again, it' alright as usual. I have restricted my expectations to a certain limit which makes me happy even to a hello of her's.

A smile that shows off when she messages me herself. A grin that fails to hide when she laughs over the phone like the most gorgeous lady laughing in the middle of the park, completely carefree and the crowd looking at her with jealousy in their eyes.

Like always, she is my happiness. She is not a person based upon my needs. She is somebody I want. Only if she understood the difference, I wanted to explain.  

Oh, it's time to watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. 

Till then Tatta!