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"Onekdin por"

As he got down from the train, Rohan realized that the moment is finally here. All his plans and predictions on staying away from it, is finally going to end. He was afraid that his life might take a very wrong turn. A turn that he might regret soon. But the excitement to see her for the first time vanquished over such paranoia.
It was quite difficult for Rohan to swiftly follow up with his crowd dodging skill, something that was terribly affected by sheer nervousness and the urge to present himself in his best body language. Although, the sweaty palms and the sloppiness didn't help him much as Rohan took his time and allowed the entire world to go ahead of him. It was as if he was waiting for everyone to clear out from the platform. What hit him exactly? Why was he so nervous? Why did he have to look perfect, even after a 20 hour long journey? Hadn't he already stopped doing that?
Staying away from it wasn't even an issue for Rohan. For a long time it did not matter to him whether there was anyone to lean his head onto. His past made him strong. Strong enough to not look for happiness. Strong enough to make him believe that happiness is he, himself.

Just as he saw her making her way down the crowded station, Rohan kept staring at her as if nothing wrong has ever happened in his life. The sheer beauty that came closer to him, made him forget all the wrong memories he had till now. The plan to act smart and give her a welcome hug failed quite miserably as he only managed to somehow end up giving a side hug to her.

A strength she became.
A strength he didn't expect..
A strength she gifted him..
A strength that once kept him wrecked.

With hope in his heart, Rohan promised her that she will never walk alone...

JUST TO LEAVE HIM AGAIN..

She started talking,
Finally, she said a word.
She asked him to stay quiet,
She didn't know, he was already lost in her chord.

She kept him busy,
She kept him mum.
She said she'd come back soon.
And then, he wished she was never gone...

She waved him from a distance,
She waved him after millions of hours.
She smiled again..
She knew he still has her flowers..

But as she grinned,
She planned to stay away again.
She came back for him..
Just to leave him again..

It's alright to stay without her.
It's alright, she didn't choose to stay..
It's alright to feel lonely for her..
It's alright to make yourself believe that way.

It's a good life he has.
But a missing puzzle still haunts him..
He plays a different game now.
But the puzzle still reminds him..

A wish to see her again.
A wish that may never be true..
But a valiant man, he is..
He'll make her believe when he'll say I love you..

....BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!

I realised I was getting old and boring. Well, even a year ago, my come back words got me loads of likes on Facebook. Well at that age, it was quite an achievement. The comments I made, probably had more likes than the post itself. Well who doesn't like to have over 30 likes in your comment, that too in the year 2013? 

But then again, where exactly did that take me? Or rather make me? Facebook smart? Witty? 

These days, the only come back I make, is to home from college at 7 pm, get all the notes updated in my desktop and do all the boring works a guy of 21 can possibly do. A personal life that does not exist and is just supported by a dizzy pair of eyes that is always trying to notify me how tired I am supposed to be everyday. But somehow this life makes a lot more sense than the street smart one. Well, as publicly opinionated I have been tagged uninteresting by a lot of women. Thank god, I haven't heard the same from my male friends because that will be a very low point in my life. They are smart enough to keep that adjective away from me.

Anyway, life seems pretty monotonous now. A superpower that acts as a strong repulsive force against women. Not that I am trying to find one, but I don't see anyone loitering around me either. With the everlasting unpleasant face to show off, the attitude is right now acting as an icing on top. Anyway, before this write up turns out to be another whining and pms-esque one, I'd prefer to change the direction at once.

Indian 'turns' 68 today. Communist are still saying we are not completely independent and I am, on the other hand, getting tagged in several pictures. Something funny is happening out there. With Indian flags becoming Whatsapp DPs and people sharing patriarchal pictures all over Facebook. I am a 21 year old kid who claims to be a very grown up man, has done SHIT for this country. Oh BTW, this country has also done SHIT for me. But I neither complain 364 days a year nor do I change my DP on the 365th day of the year and here the 365th day is actually the 15th day of August. 

Too much of explanations? Sorry. :( We have exceptions in this smart world. 

With the very little I have done in my life, I stand at a particular point, every Sunday, trying to figure out how bigger can I make it. Well, whoever is reading this, just a hint of fact for you. LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SHIT. It's written in the stars as well as on the sexy lady's arse you keep staring at. All you have to do, is spend your life. trying to prove how wrong this statement is. No matter how disgusting, depressing or boring you think people perceive you, if you are fully concentrated, you will have plenty of time to laugh at other people. And you know what's the best part? You won't spend a single second doing that because you will be busy doing what you love and nothing else would matter. 

This write up probably doesn't make any particular sense. You are free to praise. You will, however, be charged if you complain. Ha ha. kidding. See you in the next article. 

Good night. :)

KNOCK KNOCK!

It's just another night
And I'm staring at the moon
I saw a shooting star
And thought of you
I sang a lullaby
By the waterside and knew
If you were here,
I'd sing to you
You're on the other side
As the skyline splits in two
I'm miles away from seeing you
I can see the stars
From America
I wonder, do you see them, too?

America..  

She came in.. She knocked at the same door that he opened a few hours back. He was peeping outside his bedroom window all the while. Some yards away he saw a very beautiful lady, talking over her phone. She turned towards the house but only caught his dangerous attention. An attention that was enough for him to keep staring at her amidst all his homework. He kept his door opened for her to come in, hoping that she might turn up. 
And after a while, she did say "Hi". 

The closer she came, the prettier she looked. 

The closer she came, his heart started beating again..

In agony...but in happiness too! 

He knew something wrong will happen again. He looked at her closely, her eyes were gorgeous, her face so tempting that kisses were just holding themselves back. He tried his best not to mess up that moment. He looked across and fell in love. Oh well.. He messed it up again! 

She kept talking. He kept listening, but only to her lips. He stared at her as if he has seen the most beautiful face ever. She introduced herself, he did the same.... He kept describing her as if he has been looking at her for a quite long time now. 

She blushed, she felt happy. 

She met a stranger who didn't judge her..

She listened to him too..

She met a boy, who just watched her...

She said she has just lost her way. She was supposed to go somewhere but the roads look very complicated for her.. He assured her that he will do everything to help her out, although knowing that he has very little to offer. She didn't know that a boy, so younger to her, was slowly but steadily falling in love with her. She knew she won't be there with him long and it's just a matter of few hours that she will again have to head back home. She just knew it. He realized it. He had shut his door for a long time, but she was different. Her face was enough to make him believe again.. He words rhymed more than poems. Her face glowed more than the shining object inserted into her fourth finger in her left hand.. 

He wanted to touch her and he did...
He made a mistake and he couldn't repeat..
She wanted to leave, but he asked her to stay.
She said she must go, he said he will wait.. 

She said she has to go away, to a far away land... He smiled back knowing not what to say. The little bit of happiness that came knocking at his door is about to leave soon. She was just like a midnight dream. A dream that brought in all the happiness but just came with a validity. 

And here she goes away bidding him goodbye.. He gives a small kiss on the back of her palm thanking her for the lovely moment she offered him. 

It was short but now she has a lover. 
She belongs somewhere else, but his heart belongs to her.. 
She will flow away, just like a pretty dove..
She became his, because it was a lot like love!

MY DADDY STRONGEST!! MY MAA PRETTIEST!!

We sit back and think about the girl that crossed our mind just a few hours ago. We spend half of hour day trying to calculate the amount of love that we have for someone who was once a stranger. 

I am 21 now. For the last few years, relationships, women and sex have been a part of me at a great scale. I am sure when we all are around this certain age, a particular girl is always keeping our mind busy. Despite being something in the professional world, we always try to get in thoughts that are just related to "someone special".

I am not saying there is anything wrong in that. Absolutely there isn't!! But do we realize that when we reach at our most vulnerable age, we like everything apart from our family. We say we love our dad and he is the best, only when he gifts us something. A Facebook post of how amazing is our mom pops up every time she makes us our favourite dish. We turn selfish to the people who created us. I look back at my high school and college days and I regret doing certain things which I could have ignored. 

I looked at my dad today while he was soundly sleeping on the sofa. He was actually watching a Tv soap and probably didn't know when he dozed off. I called him up a couple of time but he didn't reply. I got scared. I shouted. He woke up as if some dangerous dream forced him to wake up. 

I had my differences with my dad. Everybody, at some point of their life, may have faced the same situation. 

As we all try to behave like a grown up man even when we are in our 15s and 16s, we tend to go away from our family. Visiting places with them seems too uncool for us. Maybe it's not a mistake. It's a part of the trend. But a trend that doesn't seem good when we grow up and look back, does it?

My mother had been suffering from diabetes and innumerable other diseases for the past 7 years. Every month I go to the medicine shop and recite all the names of the medicines to the shopkeeper. A lady who is living on 10 different medicines make me the most delicious foods every day. She might not be the fittest but she is surely the strongest women I have ever been with. 

My father goes to work everyday and comes back with an exhausted look and practically just looks to lie down the remainder of the day. I get pissed off with this attitude. Why would he not talk to us? I always had complains about my dad not supporting me or taking interest in what I do. I still do. But a few days ago, he started explaining me about certain insurance things that he had done and he wanted me to understand all the documents carefully. He got me a new AC in my room. I wanted him to put that money in my college fee but he still did it. I may not have put a Facebook status for him, but I surely understand that although he doesn't show his support in public, he cares about me a lot. He may not be fan of my career plans but all he wants is to see me safe and secure and financially strong. 

My dad goes to the market every 2 days a week. My house is filled with vegetables and all the healthy foods. It's a different thing that I am a complete nuisance and I fail to live upto a healthy lifestyle. Every sunday when I accompany him and carry those market bags, I realize how difficult it is for him to go to the market 3 times a week and carry bags weighing more than 10 kilos each and then immediately hurrying up for the office.

I may be too egoistic too say it to my parents, but I promise to work hard and achieve a lot, not just because of my glory but also for their hard work and pride.

ALL CHARACTERS APPEARING IN THIS WORK ARE FICTITIOUS!

It's been almost 9 years since Rehan had his first crush. The girl was extremely studious and simultaneously gorgeous. Rehan was so much into her at that time, that he stammered every time she even looked at him. It took him 3 years to eventually propose the girl of his dreams. Well, not really his dreams because he used to meet her everyday at school. It was more of a fantasy. In his fantasies, beside making love to her, Rehan used to imagine his marriage with this girl, who was pretty much out of his league.

3 years to propose a single girl, eh? Rehan was sure that the whole world looked at him as a coward and a loser who will probably never get any gf and die alone. He was concerned about his hairstyle so much that he even decided to try on 6 different hairstyles in one year. All because of that one girl. 

However, the story doesn't end well with this girl. Even after taking his time to propose her, she never paid much attention to him. 

Today, Rehan is a college graduate. The paranoid predictions he made during his school days of not getting a gf ever in his life came out horribly wrong. Till date Rehan has had sex with 6 different women and made out with more than 15. 

The concept of respecting women and treating them properly was very much installed into his brain by his family members. Everything was scripted until he met some "good friends". Friends, who didn't mind kissing without being kissed. Friends, who didn't mind blowing, even without knowing his favourite colour. 

The same guy who never had the guts to say "I like you" to a woman once, doesn't need to say it anymore. He laughs it off when a "woman" of "moral values" comes upto him and talks about how important is LOVE. Oh well, even he had a love story. Rehan sacrificed all his earnings to just go over to someplace else and be with the woman he loves. She said she loved him too. But all she offered was her body and several feeling less sessions of just kiss kiss bang bang. 

With every women he has met, touching her vagina seemed to be more easy that touching her heart. Notwithstanding the fact that his words can be a big time turn on. 

He has never forced a woman into getting physical. Still very much abided by his principles, Rehan had never approached a woman with "wrong intentions" until he realized how easy it was to do it. The concept of love disgusts him. The conversation which leads to discussion of love, turns him off. It's like he has decided to switch it off completely.

But amongst all these, he has a friend. A friend who stays far away. A special friend who has listened to his shity topics and horny fantasies. Women have become insignificant to him. Sex has become easy for him and it never looks good when sex becomes easy for a man. 

Sometimes, all he wants is a just a cuddle into her arms and do absolutely nothing. 

A little bit of happiness lies somewhere else. 

A shoulder to cry

Without being asked why...

ALWAYS IS THE WORD!

I am no expert in love stories. I have been a part of many. I still have my own love story. I have heard a lot many too. What are love stories? Stories that make us smile? Stories that make us laugh? Stories, which has an arguably happy ending?

From “oh my god” to “what the fuck” love stories have been the most important problem in all our lives. While breakups are followed with sympathies, patch ups are followed with err the same thing.

I am 21 now. The number of gfs I have been with is significantly more than the number of times I have passed in biology. From hopelessly romantic to being directly attracted to a person’s ass, I have been a part of almost every kind of affectionate as well as lusty feeling.

Today, I faced something new. Something that I had seen long time ago in a movie called “Antoheen”. Well it’s a bengali movie. When I watched it, some 3 years ago, I kept quiet for a long time after it ended. The way it ended, it wasn’t supposed to end like that.

The cute online love story was shown in quite a nice and romantic way. But why did it have to end like that? Three years later, I got to know something similar today. Well not script by script but a lot of today resemblances what happened 3 years ago in the movie.

Sympathy wouldn’t have helped. A hug? Nay.

The only thing that came to my mind when I heard it, was “Shit happens”. I wanted to hold her cheeks and say this to her. “Yes darling, shit happens”

I am childish. I am not matured enough to react properly to such an incident. I am poor with being a crying shoulder. I have always made people strong, no matter how fucked up they are.

From a kid, the only thing that might sound supportive is him promising to be there for you till the very end. Forever is long time and most of the times most of the humans mess it up really bad. I have nothing to offer. Just the word forever seems to be the easiest way to comfort you even when I know you are strong enough to comfort yourself.

Always is the word. Forever is the expectation. “I’ll try my best” is the phrase I promise.

This is for you Maharani Victoria.